haunted mansion

Haunted Mansion Cast Member Confronts Immortality

Haunted Mansion ©Disney

Haunted Mansion ©Disney

Barney Steger, a Disneyland haunted mansion Butler, recently had a humorous encounter with a guest.  While ushering guests into the stretching room he instructed them all to “drag their wretched bodies to the dead center of the room”. While most of the guest complied, Barney noticed a teenage girl defiantly standing by one of the hidden doors to the room.  Barney positioned himself next to her, stared her fiercely in the eyes and In his menacing tone repeated the command. “Drag your wretched  body to the dead center of the room!”

The girl didn’t even flinch, held Barney’s gaze, and confidently replied back “Sorry, but no. I am not one of your foolish mortals! I am immortal and plan to live forever.”

Unfazed by her response, Barney simply asked her “And what if you find out you’re not immortal?”

The girl, clearly stunned by the thought and quickly flushing in extreme embarrassment stammered out “oh! I would just die!”

This article originally appeared on Episode 13 of the Disney news satire podcast, “Guest Room” on the Ears News Network.

“Guest Room” Episode 13: Innoventions Now in Color, A New Holiday Party Being Tested, New Buns,Two Cruises, and Limited Immortality

In this episode of “Guest Room” on ENN, the Ears News Network, we talk about the new Colortopia exhibit at Innoventions in EPCOT and a new holiday party being tested. We also talk about a new store in Disney Springs and what they offer.  Then we go “cruising” as we discuss the Christmas overlay to the Jungle Cruise and new details about the upcoming Na’vi River Journey at Disney’s Animal Kingdom. We end things with a great cast member story from the Magic Kingdom.

Download: http://traffic.libsyn.com/earsnewsnet/gr-episode13.mp3


Cast:

Parker Byrd – Chris Laning
Erin Dole – Paige Laning

Intro Music:

“The Whip” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Fauxmercial Music: 

“Pamgaea” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Transcript: 

PARKER:

Innoventions Now in Color, A New Holiday Party Being Tested, New Buns,Two Cruises, and Limited Immortality.

Hello and welcome to the November 15th edition of “Guest Room” on ENN, the Ears News Network, bringing you Disney news you won’t believe…..and probably shouldn’t. I’m Parker Byrd.

ERIN:

And I’m Erin Dole.

On Episode 6 of Guest Room on the Ears News Network, we told you about a new sponsored exhibit that was coming to the Innoventions East area of the Future World section of EPCOT in the Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando. The exhibit, known as “Colortopia” and sponsored by Glidden paints, made its official debut on November 13th. The interactive exhibit is divided into three zones.

“The Power of Color Theater” entertains guests with a short film talking about the psychology behind color.

“The Color Lab” features both an interactive game called Color Mix ‘n Match which will let guests actually invent their very own color and an interactive display called “Spinning Spectrums” designed to teach guests about persistence of vision.

The third area is called “Color Our World” which will feature a “magic paintbrush” that will allow guests to paint scenes using the colors they choose. A special Colortopia app will let them take that creation home. There is even an interactive website to go along with the exhibit as well.

Now early reactions to the exhibit have been mixed with some guests finding the whole spread delightfully entertaining with shades of old school EPCOT blended in.

Others however say it pales in comparison to previous exhibits and at its base seems a poor primer into color with a presentation that seems canned. Which just goes to show that creating a consistent branded educational experience isn’t always black and white and that it can be difficult to find success when operating in this spectrum.
PARKER:

On November 8th, the first Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party of 2015 was held, a mere week after the last Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party of 2015. The popular hard ticketed event surrounds guests in the magic of the holidays with sweet treats, performances of the Christmas parade, and snow on Main Street.

But despite its popularity, some fans have complained over the years that they feel a little left out as religious or cultural backgrounds prevent them from attending a “Christmas” event. Disney has apparently been listening and is testing a new party this season, one that allows guests to celebrate the one fall holiday universally accepted by all.

On November 27th, and for one day only, the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World will be closed for a special hard ticketed event: Mickey’s Very Very Wild and Crazy Black Friday Fiesta.

Festivities will include a virtual obstacle course of kiosks down Main St., ridiculously low priced deals on Disney merchandise and a parade featuring crowds of shoppers dancing and acting out the popular seasonal hit, Dan Fogelberg’s “Auld Lang Syne”.

Food will be an important part of the party as well. A temporary food court will be erected in the Hub area featuring Black Friday favorites, like hot dogs and a can of soda, bad coffee, Chick-Fil-A, slices of Sbarro pizza. and variations on turkey leftovers.

But the real gem of the event will be character meet and greets exclusive to the party. Rare characters making an appearance include Johnnie Fedora and Alice Bluebonnet from the “Make Mine Music” Disney short anthology, Dodger and Sykes from “Oliver and Company” , Scrooge McDuck and Flintheart Globgold from Duck Tales, and a very special first time ever appearance by “Store Manager” Mickey.

Now, if you are lucky enough to score tickets to this event you want to be there when the gate opens at 6 AM because in the true spirit of the holiday the meet and greets, the food and the special discounts will all be gone by 6:05.
ERIN:

A new store recently opened at the Disney Springs Marketplace in the Walt Disney World Resort featuring “fine quality goods for the discerning gentleman”.

Known as Twenty Eight & Main, the store features Disney apparel and accessories targeted to men. This include things ranging from polos and t-shirts, uh…I mean…athletic and casual wear, to scarves, hats, ties, and even briefcases.

But the signature piece to the Twenty Eight and Main collection is the highly coveted, Mickey shaped, man bun.

Back after this.

(Fauxmercial begins)

For the last several years Disney fans have enjoyed the aesthetics and convenience of the Magic band. These designer ID bracelets allow you to enter the parks, get fast passes, check in for fast passes, open your hotel room door and even purchase food and souvenirs.

But it’s not all sunshine and Dole Whips. Traditional magic bands can be cumbersome, make your wrist all sweaty, and even break! Not to mention, take them off and they’re easy to lose! There has got to be a better way!

But What? Tattooing a barcode to your wrist seems a little unappealing, And planting an RFID chip in the hand seems a wee bit invasive. Well, now there is a better way.

Introducing the Derma Magic Band, a new technological advance from the dreamers and doers at ??? Labs.

Derma magic band is a unique, electromagnetic sensitive ink that you can apply directly onto your skin. It stores information just like a real magic band and can be used at all the same touch points.

Since the information is stored electromagnetically you can print it in any design! You could choose Mickey, Minnie, Goofy, Donald, Daisy, Pluto or any of 147 Disney licensed characters. Or choose from famous Park icons or attractions or resorts or movies or, well, anything. The possibilities are limitless!

Best of all, you don’t even have to put it on your wrist! You could put it on discrete locations like the ankle or underarm. Or show your Disney pride in conspicuous locations like the hand or the face. Heck. You could even put it on the backside….of your neck.

Derma Magic Band comes in every color imaginable, except purple, and is conveniently available wherever ink is slinged.

Try Derma Magic Band risk free for 30 days. If you’re not satisfied we will return your money and you can keep your Derma Magic Band as our gift to you.

So throw those old magic bands away, and get Derma Magic Band today!

(Fauxmercial ends)

PARKER:

Welcome back to ENN, the Ears News Network.

The holiday overlay to the Jungle Cruise, making it the Jingle Jungle Cruise has already taken place and guests are experiencing what has become yet another popular annual event. The holiday overlay appears in the Magic Kingdoms at both the Walt Disney World and Disneyland resorts.

Guests will notice holiday decorations, placed by the Skippers all throughout the rivers. The Skippers have even changed up their narrations to include some seasonal banter as well.

But the piece de resistance is found near the end of the ride as an appearance is made by Trader Santa who comes bearing gifts: two mistletoes for one of yours.
Come to think of it…that’s a lot cheaper price than he usually charges.

ERIN:

And on a similar track…….at the D23 Expo in Japan Disney released more details about the upcoming Na’vi River Journey, which is part of the new Pandora – The World of AVATAR section of Disney’s Animal Kingdom in the Walt Disney World Resort in Florida.

According to a press release from Disney:

“The adventure begins as guests set out in canoes and venture down a mysterious, sacred river hidden within the bioluminescent rainforest. The full beauty of Pandora reveals itself as the canoes pass by exotic glowing plants and amazing creatures. The journey culminates in an encounter with a Na’vi shaman, who has a deep connection to the life force of Pandora and sends positive energy out into the forest through her music.”

Though the press release fails to mention it, the exit of the ride is rumored to contain a Na’vi salesman offering you two shrunken avatars for one of yours….

Wait! The same joke? Are you kidding me?

PARKER:

Apparently our writers were lazy this week. But look at it this way Erin, when it comes to the Na’vi River Journey, at least the guests won’t be in da Nile.

ERIN:

Really Parker?

PARKER:

Annnnddd…..finally.

Barney Steger, a Disneyland haunted mansion Butler, recently had a humorous encounter with a guest. While ushering guests into the stretching room he instructed them all to “drag their wretched bodies to the dead center of the room”. While most of the guest complied, Barney noticed a teenage girl defiantly standing by one of the hidden doors to the room. Barney positioned himself next to her, stared her fiercely in the eyes and In his menacing tone repeated the command. “Drag your wretched body to the dead center of the room!”

The girl didn’t even flinch, held Barney’s gaze, and confidently replied back “Sorry, but no. I am not one of your foolish mortals! I am immortal and plan to live forever.”

Unfazed by her response, Barney simply asked her “And what if you find out you’re not immortal?”

The girl, clearly stunned by the thought and quickly flushing in extreme embarrassment stammered out “oh! I would just die!”

And that’s all for this edition of ENN’s “Guest Room”. If you would like to comment on this episode or would like to send along a news story for us to look into drop us an email at guestroom@earsnews.net.

You can listen to this and future episodes by finding us in the iTunes store and now on Stitcher, just search on Ears News Network. Details can be found on the “How to Listen” page at EarsNews.net. There you can find links to our Facebook page and Twitter account as well.

So until next time, for my co-host Erin Dole and me, Parker Byrd, thanks for listening to the Ears News Network, the mistrusted name in Disney news. Goodbye everybody.

Star Wars Makes Its Way Into the Haunted Mansion

Haunted Mansion queue at the Magic Kingdom in Walt Disney World. Copyright Disney

Haunted Mansion queue at the Magic Kingdom in Walt Disney World.  Copyright:  Disney

With the impending release later this year of  Star Wars, Episode VII: The Force Awakens, Disney and Star Wars fans alike are anticipating some additional permanent integration of the Star Wars characters and story lines into the existing Disney parks.

One of the persistent rumors  has been the introduction of Star Wars characters into various existing park attractions, even classic ones, similar to the way Johnny Depp’s Captain Jack Sparrow was woven into the Pirates of the Caribbean ride.

While there has been wild speculation, we have finally received our first confirmation.  It was quietly released, late last week,  that in the run-up to the movie premiere, producers of the film seek to alleviate any concerns fans might have about a not so popular character from Episodes 1 through 3 and the Clone Wars appearing in Episode 7, despite the passage of time.

This fall, in the Magic Kingdom at the Walt Disney World resort in Orlando, a new tombstone will be added to the cemetery in the queue line for the Haunted Mansion. The tombstone will simply read:

Here below lies Jar Jar Binks
The worst character ever, me so thinks!

This story originally appeared in Episode 4 of  the satirical Disney News podcast, “Guest Room” on the Ears News Network (http://www.EarsNews.net).

“Guest Room” Episode 4: Star Wars, Selfie Sticks, Ticket Tax, Animal Poop, and the Hall that Refreshes

In this episode of “Guest Room” on ENN, the Ears News Network, we talk about a Star Wars character being introduced into the Haunted Mansion and about the new selfie stick ban at Disney parks and what the future may hold for that. And we report on efforts to renew Disney’s tax exemption on admission tickets in the Disneyland Resort.

Disney recently introduced candy that looks like animal feces. We find out whether guests will eat it.

Finally, we tell you about a new relaxation spot in EPCOT and relate another cast interaction story.
Download: http://traffic.libsyn.com/earsnewsnet/gr-episode_4.mp3

Cast:

Parker Byrd – Chris Laning
Erin Dole – Paige Laning

“Isn’t he cute” – Jeanette Gray
“You’re a good girl aren’t you” – Kevin Toler
“You made a new one?” – Steve Bach
911 Dispatcher – Rob Scardino
911 Caller – Alisha Jones
“What kind of disgusting question is that?” – Liz Lloyd
“Poop! Absolutely not!” – David Crosby
“How Wude!” – Jar Jar Binks
“..unless its 100% natural” – MaryKate Kirkpatrick
“it’s True!” – Jon Laning

Intro Music:

“The Whip” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Fauxmerical Music:

“Arcadia” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

“Undaunted” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Googlies: 

Transcript: 

 

PARKER:“Star wars invades classic attractions,  Disney Parks are now less sticky, Disneyland could find being in Anaheim taxing, a new eating adventure in the Animal kingdom and the hall that refreshes!”Hello and welcome to the July 1st edition of “Guest Room” on ENN, the Ears News Network, bringing you Disney news you won’t believe…..and probably shouldn’t. I’m your host, Parker Byrd.
With the impending release later this year of  Star Wars, Episode VII: The Force Awakens, Disney and Star Wars fans alike are anticipating some additional permanent integration or the Star Wars characters and storylines into the existing Disney parks. One of the persistent rumors has been the introduction of Star Wars characters into various existing park attraction, even classic ones, similar to the way Johnny Depp’s Captain Jack Sparrow was woven into the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. While there has been wild speculation, we have finally received our first confirmation.  It was quietly released late last week,  that in the run-up to the movie premiere, producers of the film seek to alleviate any concerns fans might have about a not so popular character from Episodes 1 through 3 and the Clone Wars appearing in Episode 7, despite the passage of time. This fall, in the Magic Kingdom at the Walt Disney World resort in Orlando, a new tombstone will be added to the cemetery in the queue line for the Haunted Mansion. The tombstone will simply read: “Here below lies Jar Jar Binks. the worst character ever, me so thinks!”
Earlier this week, Disney changed its policy regarding selfie sticks. Our Parks Policies and Procedures reporter Erin Dole, filed this report.ERIN:  On June 30th, Disney began banning the “selfie stick” in all of their parks.  The contraption which first started appearing a couple of years ago, has really taken off in the last several months. It allows guests to mount their smartphone to the end of a stick which they can then hold out in front of them in an effort to take a selfie from a distance. The stick usually has a trigger on the end connected to the smartphone allowing the guest to snap the picture. While selfie sticks are popular and provide some great shots, they are also hazardous to park operations as many guest attempt to use them while on attractions. In fact, back on June 24th, California Screamin, the looping roller coaster at Disney’s California Adventure in the Disneyland Resort in Anaheim, was emergency stopped when a passenger pulled out a selfie stick.  The cars were stopped at the top of the hill, and passengers were reportedly evacuated before the ride resumed  operation an hour or so later. Selfie stick enthusiasts are a little dismayed at this change however. Helen Mitre, from Delevan, California, said that taking selfies on various Disneyland attractions has become her passionate hobby. She says “I post them on my Facebook page and I’ve gotten a lot of hits!  I wouldn’t be such a celebrity without the selfie stick.  I’m just devastated.  Its nothing more than a stupid knee jerk reaction!” But selfie stickers like Ms. Mitre, may not have to suffer very long. Reports say that Disney is currently working with duPont, the maker of Teflon, to develop a new  NON-STICK selfie.
PARKER: Over in California, the Orange County Register is reporting that Disney is trying to entice the city of Anaheim, where the Disneyland Resort is  located, to continue their current exemption of tax on admission tickets to the theme park. Disney promising a $1 Billion investment to their parks between 2017 and 2024, a move believed to create thousands of additional jobs in the area.Disney’s current exemption was put into place in 1996 as part of a deal with city for assistance in building the California Adventure theme park. That deal was a 20 year deal and is set to expire in June of 2016. Disney is requesting the exemption be extended for another 30 years. The Anaheim City council is reportedly split on the issue with Mayor Tom Tait opposed to the plan, two members in support of the exemption, and two still undecided. Currently none of Disney’s parks have a tax park admission tickets, a position they seem key on maintaining. To that end, rumors have it that should Anaheim vote to impose a tax on admission, Disney will take extreme measures by reversing the admission procedures.  Borrowing from a model being used effectively by the state of NJ, Disneyland Parks would be absolutely free to enter,  but cost you an arm and a leg to leave. As one unnamed Disney Executive put it “Hey, they want to tax admission. but they said nothing about egression”.Back after this.
FAUXMERICAL:ANNOUNCER: Imagine a world where you can walk, run, and play with creatures you once thought impossible.WOMAN 1: Ah, isn’t he cute?

ANNOUNCER: Where majestic beasts you previously only read about stand before you in vivid  living color.

MAN 1: Ah, you’re a good girl aren’t you?

ANNOUNCER: But this world has a darker side.

MAN 2:  Wait, you made a new one? That doesn’t seem like a good idea!

ANNOUNCER: One that turns this fantastic dreamland, into a horrific  nightmare!

DISPATCHER: 911, what’s your emergency?
WOMAN 2: I’m being chased by a creature.

DISPATCHER:  Can you describe it?

WOMAN 2: It’s big, tall, has spots, and a giant ugly purple tongue!

(animal yell is heard)
ANNOUNCER: Giraffic World. A new interactive nighttime experience. Coming soon to Disney’s Animal Kingdom. Giraffic World is copyrighted by Disney. Any similarity to a Universal property is purely intentional.

 

PARKER: Welcome back to ENN, the Ears News Network. Back in June two new food related establishments opened up at Disney’s Animal Kingdom Theme Park in the Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando.  The first is Creature Comforts, Animal Kingdom’s new Starbucks location, which can be found in the Discovery Island section of this park.  It will serve many items from Starbuck’s regular menu as well as some special unique Disney treats. The second establishment, Zuri’s Sweets Shop is located in the Africa section of the park.  This shop features some 80 plus different candies, confections, and other sweets with a bit of an African theme. But what has really captured the attention of guests is the “poop” candy.  Edible candy treats designed to look like the feces of a given animal.  Among the offerings are giraffe poop and elephant poop. So our question is: Will guests take to this new novel treat? We sent our ENN field reporter Erin Dole out to Animal Kingdom to find out.  Erin?ERIN: Thanks Parker!  But as you can hear I am actually in Adventureland in the Magic Kingdom.PARKER: Wait! Why are you there instead of Animal Kingdom?

ERIN: Seriously Parker, if you got to go to the parks on the company dime where would you pick?

PARKER: Probably the place where I was SUPPOSED to go I would think.

ERIN: Well anyway Parker, lets see what people think about the new poop candy. Excuse me ma’am. Would you eat poop?

WOMAN 1: Excuse me???? What kind of disgusting question is that?

ERIN: Uh…never mind…..sir…sir….would you eat poop?

MAN 1: Poop!  Absolutely not! Twice is enough for any man.

ERIN:  Ooooo….Kay……um….excuse me…ma’am…yes you… the tall one…would you eat poop.

JAR JAR: How Wude!

PARKER: Erin…Erin

ERIN: Yes Parker.

PARKER: Think back to journalism school.

ERIN: OK

PARKER: Remember how they taught you that sometimes context matters?

ERIN: Of course…..

PARKER:   Now might be one of those times.

ERIN:  Oooohhhhh…yeah….good point. Excuse me ma’am….Disney recently began selling candy that was shaped like animal poop….do you think that is something you would try?

WOMAN 2: Oh really??? I guess it depends on what’s in it.

ERIN: Well, for example, the elephant poop is made out of chocolate peanut butter fudge, oats and coconut flakes.

WOMAN 2: Oh…then no…I don’t think I would eat it.

ERIN: Why? You don’t like the peanut butter fudge, the oats? The coconut?

WOMAN 2: No, its not that. I won’t eat anything unless it is 100% natural.

ERIN: 100 % natural elephant poop? Um..Parker…I am thinking the answer to the question of whether guests will eat the poop candy is a resounding no!  Maybe they should just put it on a stick and call it a lollipoop…..Back to you Parker.

PARKER: Thanks Erin….I think….lollipoop…..hm.

On June 28th, Disney opened a new relaxation area in the Future World section of EPCOT at the Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando. Located in Innoventions West in the corridor between Club Cool, the exhibit/store sponsored by Coca-Cola where you can try various flavors of soda from around the world, and the Character Connection, where you can meet many of your favorite characters, the new relaxation area gives guests a place to sit down, cool off, and charge their electronics.  Disney has decided to call this new relaxation area the D-Zone. That’s after Coca-Cola objected to the originally proposed name, the Beverly Recovery Center.
Recently, in the Magic Kingdom at the Disneyland resort in Anaheim, Jungle Boat Skipper Reggie overheard two female guests, one blonde and the other a redhead, arguing over the name of the ride with the abominable snow man. “Do you mean the Matterhorn ladies?”, he asked helpfully. The red headed woman wheeled around, looked sharply at him and demanded angrily. “What’s the Matterhorn?” Now Skipper Reggie, always one with a quick retort, and trying to lighten the mood, quickly replied “Nothing Dear, What’s the matter with you?”
Skipper Reggie has since been reassigned, but he did learn one valuable lesson, to watch out for Ginger, because Ginger Snaps.
And that’s all for this edition of ENN’s “Guest Room”.  If you would like to comment on this episode or would like to send along a news story for us to look into drop us an email at guestroom@earsnews.net. You can listen to this and future episodes by finding us in the iTunes store, just search on Ears News Network. You can also subscribe to our RSS feed. Details can be found on the “How to Listen” page at EarsNews.net. As always you can listen to us right from our website at EarsNews.net. There you can find links to our Facebook page and Twitter account as well. Until next time, I’m your host, Parker Byrd, saying thanks for listening to the Ears News Network, the mistrusted name in Disney news. Goodbye everybody.