This news item originally appeared on Episode 16 of the Disney news SATIRE podcast, “Guest Room” on the Ears News Network with Parker Byrd and Erin Dole.
PARKER: And finally, in related news, LJ Silver, a cast member at that same “Pirates” attraction at the Magic Kingdom in the Disneyland Resort, told us about an interesting encounter he recently had with a guest. One particular day he noticed a young girl who came through the queue numerous times. Now a lot of people like to reride this attraction, but LJ noticed that each time she seemed to be more and more frustrated. Finally LJ’s curiosity got the better of him. As she approached he said to the girl “Aye there Lass, why you been looking so salty?”
The girl gave him a stern look and said “I have ridden this ride many times and I still can’t find the Captain”.
LJ smiled and said “Aye, he is a tricky one to find. But if you keeps your eyes sharp when they are dunking the mayor in the well, you just might spy that sly Capt. Jack Sparrow”
“Not him!” snapped the girl, “Capt. Sparrow is really bad at hiding. I’m trying to find Hook.”
LJ was confused at first, but finally replied “Oh Lassie, you won’t be finding Capt’s Hook in these seas, he only hangs out with Peter Pan in Fantasyland.”
“Not true!” yelled the girl, “Hook has to be here!”
“And why is that lassie?” asked LJ
“Duh!”, she explained, “Because this is Pirate of the Carabiner right?”
ERIN: Parker, I’m beginning to think we should have stayed on hiatus.